Standing Back Up

I want to talk about learning from your errors and the letting them go, and how ridiculously hard it is to learn to do so.

First off, I'm terrible at this. I'm better at it than I was at, say, 18, but I feel like a 33 year old hairless ape should be a bit more advanced than I am. And there was your first example. I couldn't make it through two paragraphs without disparaging myself. I'm telling you, this whole acceptance of self thing takes work. I have friends that this skill seems to come to naturally, and I envy them. For the rest of us, letting go of past failures is like cutting off a tumor without the benefit of anesthetic. I don't know about you, my dear readers, but for me there is almost a fear involved, like I'm accidentally letting go of some mysterious part of me that I'll desperately need later. This is all bullshit, of course. If we don't let the bad go, how can we have room for the awesomeness in our lives? Of course, this is significantly easier said than done. 

I wish there were some magic advice I could share that would allow all of you to be able to instantly unload all of your bullshit and we could come together as one hive mind, free of all negativity and strife, to explore the universe together in eternal bliss. Unfortunately this skill, like any other skill, takes effort and perseverance and all those words that a thesaurus will tell you basically mean work. There's no escaping it. And, if I'm really honest with myself, the reason I'm only as far along the path as I am is due directly to the amount of work I've put in. Because it's way easier to just fuck off and party and forget about all of your troubles and just slack through life. Now, I'm not saying anything against partying, slacking off, or general fuckery. These things are important to a balanced life. All I'm saying is that you need to put in some work now and then on yourself. Your life is a direct (sometimes painful) reflection of what you've put into it, so be careful what you put into it. 

I don't have answers. All I can do is pick apart my short existence here on Earth as an example. An example of what, I'll never be sure. Maybe it's an example of a trajectory of one specific piece of stardust, hurling through beyond, without the slightest notion of a destination. Yeah, I like that.