Standing Back Up

I want to talk about learning from your errors and the letting them go, and how ridiculously hard it is to learn to do so.

First off, I'm terrible at this. I'm better at it than I was at, say, 18, but I feel like a 33 year old hairless ape should be a bit more advanced than I am. And there was your first example. I couldn't make it through two paragraphs without disparaging myself. I'm telling you, this whole acceptance of self thing takes work. I have friends that this skill seems to come to naturally, and I envy them. For the rest of us, letting go of past failures is like cutting off a tumor without the benefit of anesthetic. I don't know about you, my dear readers, but for me there is almost a fear involved, like I'm accidentally letting go of some mysterious part of me that I'll desperately need later. This is all bullshit, of course. If we don't let the bad go, how can we have room for the awesomeness in our lives? Of course, this is significantly easier said than done. 

I wish there were some magic advice I could share that would allow all of you to be able to instantly unload all of your bullshit and we could come together as one hive mind, free of all negativity and strife, to explore the universe together in eternal bliss. Unfortunately this skill, like any other skill, takes effort and perseverance and all those words that a thesaurus will tell you basically mean work. There's no escaping it. And, if I'm really honest with myself, the reason I'm only as far along the path as I am is due directly to the amount of work I've put in. Because it's way easier to just fuck off and party and forget about all of your troubles and just slack through life. Now, I'm not saying anything against partying, slacking off, or general fuckery. These things are important to a balanced life. All I'm saying is that you need to put in some work now and then on yourself. Your life is a direct (sometimes painful) reflection of what you've put into it, so be careful what you put into it. 

I don't have answers. All I can do is pick apart my short existence here on Earth as an example. An example of what, I'll never be sure. Maybe it's an example of a trajectory of one specific piece of stardust, hurling through beyond, without the slightest notion of a destination. Yeah, I like that.

The Birthday Blog.

33 trips around the sun. What a concept. I don't know about you all, but I love the fact that we are all living on an organic spaceship orbiting a nuclear reactor, amongst a bunch of other organic spaceships orbiting their own nuclear reactors, orbiting some other interstellar gravity event that will eventually hit the reset button, only to start the process all over again in a few billion years. The only constant in any world is change, and to embrace it is to embrace the closest thing to reality that we can all objectively experience.

Now, on a more terrestrial level, that last year has been change incarnate. Somewhere between the spectacular highs and cataclysmic lows, I've learned some incredibly valuable life lessons. Although there are too many to list here, I'll give you the top 5 (in no particular order):

1- No matter what you've done, or where you've been, or how you were brought up, everyone has something to teach you. And I mean EVERYONE. Most of the time, the lessons are subtle, nuanced, and almost invisible. But, with the right kind of eyes, there is wisdom in it all. It might not be the wisdom you're looking for at the time, but it's there. Pay attention.

2- You get out what you put in. Think of it like a car. If you ignore the basic maintenance (changing the oil, keeping air in the tires, praising it when it does a good job, etc.), it will eventually give up on you. Now apply this to your relationships. Yes, really.

3- You never know how much time you have here, so try to make it a positive experience. I don't just mean for you, but for everyone. That being said, you don't have to sacrifice your well being for everyone around you. Find a balance that works for you, and learn to enjoy the act of giving. You'll feel better, I promise.

4- Get a hobby. I'm not saying stamp collecting or baseball cards should be in your future. I'm saying you should find something in your life that brings you a few minutes of calm and allows you to regroup and get centered. It can be anything (as long as it's not terribly detrimental to your physical or mental health), as long as it provides some kind of solace. Me, I like writing sarcasm. 

5- Become your own advocate. This one is incredibly hard for me. I've never had the best self-esteem, but I'm learning that it is more of a learned process, as opposed to an innate skill. Some of us are lucky enough to be born with bad-assery built in, but the rest of us have to learn it over a period of time. It's a long, hard road, but well worth it. Once you can accept your own awesomeness, you can do anything, deal with anything, love anything. True story.

This is by no means a complete or definitive list. This is just what I've gleaned from this last lap around the sun. That being said, let's start a conversation. Comment on important life lessons you've learned, and maybe we can all help each other become better adjusted humans. Word.